Baby, you should fix your site

[5 January 2009]

Maybe it was an hallucination, or just an after-effect of seeing the article on T. V. Raman in the Sunday New York Times yesterday. But my evil twin Enrique showed up this evening.

“I’ve written a song,” he said. “You have, have you?” I said, guardedly. “Want to hear it?” he asked. “I doubt it.” But there was no stopping him.

[Before you read this, you may need to be reminded that “WAI” (pronounced “way”) is the W3C’s Web Accessibility Initiative. And “section 508” refers to the section of the U.S. legal code that requires at least some Web sites to be accessible to the disabled. There are analogous requirements in many civilized countries, but the girl in this song appears to be an American.]

I asked a girl what she wanted to do,
And she said ‘Baby, surf the Web, just like you.
I got some software, it’s readin’ my screen,
but your damn page breaks the whole machine!

Chorus:
“Baby, you should fix your site!
WAI can help you make it right.
Baby, if you fix your site,
Then maybe I’ll love you.”

I told that girl that my pages were good.
And she said “Listen, babe, they don’t do what they should.
You know, there’s rules, section 508
Fix that page, if you want a date!

Chorus:
“Baby, you should fix your site!
WAI can help you make it right.
Baby, if you fix your site,
Then maybe I’ll love you.

[Instrumental.]

Chorus:
“Baby, you should fix your site!
WAI can help you make it right.
Baby, if you fix your site,
Then maybe I’ll love you.”

I asked that girl how to start right away/
And she said, “Baby, do Level A.
You won’t stop there, not if you are smart.
But Level A, baby, now that’s a start!

Chorus:
“Baby, you can make it right.
WAI can help you fix your site!
Baby, if you see the light,
Then, baby, I’ll love you!”

I hate to encourage Enrique in his song-writing career, and especially I hate to encourage further songs using Beatles tunes (if you didn’t recognize “Baby, you can drive my car” here, then you are a lot younger than I am), but well, you know, that girl has got a point.

If your site is not accessible, you really should fix it.

My management asks me to point out that we do not warrant that making your Web site more accessible will actually get you more dates. But it’s still the right thing to do.

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